This Side (1/?)Pairings:
NC-17 (for this part and all others)Word Count:
None unless you count ridiculous amounts of Blaine's inner dialogue.Summary:
Kurt and Blaine have been best friends since the day Kurt stopped Blaine on the stairs at Dalton, but never anything more. This is why Blaine is more than a little shocked when Kurt suggests that they lose their virginity to one another before they head off to New York for college.A/N:
I started planning this fic before Season 3 happened, so nothing from Season 3 is canon except that Blaine is at McKinley, but that was my own planning, not RIB's. :P You could say that this is canon up through Sexy
. Sorry if you hate WIPs. :(
Blaine sat against Kurt’s headboard cushioned with over-sized and ridiculously comfortable pillows, his toes digging into the soft duvet beneath his feet. A pen was perched between his teeth, his tongue flicking it back and forth as he stared at his iPad. For the last hour, he’d been trying to figure out what song to perform in Glee for their latest assignment—reinvented showtunes—while Kurt sat beside him finishing Waiting for Godot
for their AP English class.
“That was the most pointless thing I’ve ever read. And I read Twilight
last summer out of boredom and a completely shameful obsession with Taylor Lautner’s abs,” Kurt huffed, throwing the book over the edge of the bed. “Nothing happened.”
“I know,” Blaine said, sliding his finger up the screen. He’d had a similar reaction when he finished the play on Thursday night, except he’d actually thrown the thing into the garbage can beside his bed. If it hadn’t landed on some rather indecently soiled Kleenex, he probably would’ve taken it back out after he’d calmed down from having his time so hideously wasted
“Have you decided what you’re singing yet?” Kurt asked. Blaine sighed and continued to scroll.
“No. I’d like to do something from Thoroughly Modern Millie
, but I don’t know what,” he said. “Maybe a big band arrangement of ‘What Do I Need With Love.’”
“That would be interesting. I think you could definitely do it justice,” Kurt said thoughtfully, leaning over to look at the screen as well. “So have you gotten any more information from Tisch?”
“Not really. I mean, I got my acceptance letter and I sent in my tuition deposit but that’s it so far,” Blaine told him with a little shrug.
“Same with me,” Kurt said. “Can you believe that we’ll actually be in New York in a few months? I can’t stop thinking about living in such a big city. About all of the new… possibilities
that will come our way.”
Blaine hummed in agreement. They’d had this same conversation so many times ever since they’d both been accepted to the Tisch School for Performing Arts. They were best friends and it had been the single most exciting day of Blaine’s life when he’d found out that they wouldn’t have to be apart for the next four years of their lives. Ever since they’d first met back in the fall of the previous school year, they’d been close, their connection easy and natural. There had been a time when he thought that maybe Kurt wanted more than friendship, but that feeling had faded away, dissolving like cotton candy on the tongue—gone in an instant, but the taste remains.
“I know. We can get rush tickets to shows and go to the Met whenever we want and-“
“Have hundreds of hot guys at our disposal,” Kurt finished. Blaine nodded.
“That’ll be a nice change from here,” he said with a little scoff, looking for a moment at ‘Forget About the Boy’ before shaking his head.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Kurt said. Blaine tried not to sigh. Of course he wanted Kurt to be able to talk to him about anything, but he really needed to get this figured out and usually Kurt was better at picking up on when Blaine didn’t really want to be bothered. Apparently the fact that he hadn’t so much as looked Kurt’s way since he’d finished reading hadn’t been enough of a signal.
“Yeah?” Blaine asked instead, trying his best to put enough of an edge on his voice to be noticeable but not enough to come off as a total ass.
“I don’t want to go to college a virgin,” Kurt said. Blaine laughed and nodded, tapping on ‘What Do I Need With Love.’ It’d do.
“Tell me about it,” Blaine said.
“I should clarify,” Kurt said, scooting an inch or so closer. “I meant to say that I don’t intend to go to college a virgin.”
“Have some secret boyfriend I don’t know about? Because if you do, I would love the phone numbers of any of his single friends, please,” Blaine joked.
“I was actually hoping that you would help me out. Well, that we could help each other out. Sexually, I mean,” Kurt said, adding the last bit hurriedly before sitting up board straight. Blaine’s eyes opened wide and he was fairly certain that he hadn’t blinked in over a minute, his eyes dry and feeling rather manic as he turned his head slowly to face Kurt. Kurt couldn’t have possibly
just said what Blaine thought he had.
“If you look at it this way, it makes perfect sense. We’re best friends, so we can trust each other. I don’t know how you feel about me, but I find you
attractive. This way, we could both lose our virginity to someone that we feel comfortable with, someone we trust implicitly. We’ll both know what we like and what we don’t like, how to get through any awkward moments with ease,” Kurt rambled on and all Blaine could do at stare at him.
“You want to have sex with me?” Blaine asked, his voice cracking like he was in seventh grade all over again. “But… we’re best friends.”
“Yes, and as I already said, I think that will help to make this more comfortable. We’ve always been completely honest with one another and I think that will make this successful. You can tell me if what I’m doing to you feels good and-”
Blaine shot off the bed, waving both hands in front of him, silently begging Kurt to stop. His head was spinning, swirling and he really needed it to end if he was going to make any kind of coherent response.
“Don’t you want your first time to be with someone special?”
special to me, Blaine. That’s the point of this,” Kurt said, scooting until he was sitting on the edge of the bed right in front of Blaine. “I don’t know about you, but sex is pretty much all I think about these days. I want to do everything first with someone who means something to me, even if it’s friendship. I know that if I keep waiting, then I’m going to go to a party, see a hot guy, and just do everything
because I’m horny and I’ve been waiting for so long. I don’t want the first time I touch another guy for him to be some nameless, faceless person in a crowd and I don’t want to wait until there is
someone special because what if I don’t find him until I’m thirty and then I’m some pathetic and sad thirty-year-old virgin who doesn’t know anything
about sex. No, this is the right thing to do and I’ve given it a lot of thought. So, what do you say?”
Blaine just gaped at him, his mouth literally hanging open.
“I honestly have no idea what to say,” he blurted.
“So, that’s a no then,” Kurt said, stiffening and tensing his mouth and shit
Blaine had just really messed things up. He didn’t want Kurt to be mad at him, it was just… well, how was he supposed to respond to this? What had Kurt thought was going to happen? That Blaine already would’ve agreed and they’d be making out by now?
Oh god. He had to stop thinking about that.
“Did I say the word no?” Blaine asked, knowing that he was snipping a little, but Kurt was being kind of bitchy and unreasonable and Blaine just didn’t have it in him to be kind at the moment. Every ounce of his mental faculty was currently devoted to going ‘WHAT!?
’ “I just… I need to think about this.”
“You don’t have to pretend to think about it for my sake. If you’re not interested, it’s fine. I knew that I was taking a long-shot when I asked you.”
“I’m not pretending, Kurt, I just need some time to wrap my head around this,” Blaine admitted. Kurt nodded primly, wringing his hands in his lap. Blaine hated having to do it this way, but he absolutely could not
think clearly when Kurt was looking at him so insistently. “I’m going to go now. I’ll let you know by the end of tonight what my decision is.”
“Thank you,” Kurt replied softly, his voice shrinking in on itself though his body wasn’t. He was still sitting ramrod straight with his mouth set into a thin line.
“Okay. Um, bye, Kurt,” Blaine said, distracted by his own busy thoughts already. He grabbed his iPad off the bed and left without giving Kurt a second look. Though parts of him wanted no more than to just say yes to relieve the obvious tension from his best friend’s body, he had to think first. He hated when Kurt was hurting, especially when he was the cause for that hurt, but this wasn’t a decision to be made lightly.
The drive home was odd. It was always long, but Blaine usually passed the time by singing along with whatever randomly showed up on his iPod. Not this afternoon, though. Blaine didn’t so much as turn on the radio. His thoughts were noisy enough.
He couldn’t make sense of anything enough to formulate any kind of true opinion on the matter. Driving safely had taken up the majority of his brain functioning and he clearly needed some time to focus on nothing but Kurt’s proposal. When he was behind his closed bedroom door with a half-assed excuse as to his early arrival home tossed in his mother’s direction, Blaine could finally think
With a sigh, he flopped onto his bed and pressed the heels of both hands firmly into his eyes.
Okay. What in the hell had just happened?
Had Kurt given any kind of foreshadowing that this was coming?
No, he hadn’t. None at all.
There had been no mentions of wanting to lose his virginity before going to college and certainly
no indication that he would want to do something like that with Blaine
. He understood where Kurt was coming from. Blaine thought about sex pretty much constantly. Sex in different positions with different guys. Guys he shouldn’t have been thinking about having sex with, but honestly, a guy can’t get a reputation like Puck’s without having some
skill in the bedroom.
So yes, he understood that Kurt was thinking about sex a lot. Blaine even understood why Kurt didn’t want to wait. Even though he knew without a doubt that Kurt was going to meet someone wonderful in college because well, Kurt
was wonderful and there was no way that he wouldn’t, things don’t always work out the way they’re supposed or when you think they should.
There would be parties and hook-ups. Blaine had to be honest with himself and admit that there was a good chance he would wind up going home with a hot guy because he was an adult and he could do whatever he wanted and there had to be so many hot guys in the city in mass quantities Blaine couldn’t even begin to comprehend sitting there alone in his bedroom in Ohio.
Kurt’s proposal made sense on paper, but the second Blaine imagined it actually happening… No, they couldn’t do this. How could they? How could they go from friends to something so much more
? How could they still sit together on Kurt’s bed doing homework when they’d seen each other naked? When they knew what each other looked like when they came? When they’d tasted and touched each other?
. Blaine knew that and he couldn’t risk it. Kurt was the absolute best friend he’d ever had and there was no way he was going to jeopardize that. Not even if Kurt was the one asking him to do it.
Blaine felt better after making up his mind. He ate dinner with his parents, watched some TV, and went for a run on the treadmill in the basement. When he was finished physically exhausting himself to the point that his body felt as tired as his brain did, he headed upstairs to take a shower.
There were a lot of things that Blaine loved about their home, but his bathroom was one of his absolute favorites. The shower was the main reason for this. It was big and elegant with travertine tile covering the walls, ceiling, and floor except for the large glass wall that separated the luxurious haven from the rest of the bathroom. As water cascaded down his sweaty skin, washing away the results of his exertion as well as making the tension in his shoulders dissolve, Blaine’s thoughts wandered.
He thought about school and his song choice for Glee and what he was going to wear the next day. And even though he tried not to, he thought about Kurt’s proposal. How could he not? It was kind of huge. Okay, it was ridiculously huge.
Kurt wanted to have sex with him. To be fair, maybe it wasn’t so much about Blaine specifically as it was about the comfort and familiarity that Blaine offered. But still, Kurt had thought about having sex with Blaine
Not that Blaine hadn’t thought about having sex with Kurt. He had. Of course he had. With those ridiculously tight pants Kurt always wore that left absolutely nothing
to the imagination, Blaine hadn’t been able to help himself. It wasn’t that he was constantly lusting for Kurt, it was more just that his body had had a physical reaction. He’d also had sex dreams about Kurt, again because of those damned pants. But all of that was normal. Blaine was a horny teenager and if a guy was good-looking, he’d probably fantasized about him in some capacity at one point or another.
Kurt was definitely good-looking. There was no question there. Blaine could only hope to lose his virginity to someone as hot as Kurt. But they just couldn’t do it this way. It would ruin their friendship. Right?
Blaine sighed and rinsed the conditioner from his hair. There was no way they could go through with it. And besides, he’d already made up his mind. No sense in further beating a dead horse.
But, the prospect of finally getting to be touched by another guy, of finally
getting a blowjob (which Blaine had long imagined was the most amazing feeling in the entire world), of finally getting to actually make out with someone was thoroughly enticing. He wanted it all. And god, he really wanted it now.
Not in five years. Not when he was drunk at some party and wound up fooling around with a guy who he thought was hot at the time but in the light of day was actually incredibly average. Just the thought of a mouth wrapping around his cock, hot and wet with the slick slide of a tongue and the tight pressure of lips was enough to make Blaine’s cock harden.
Blaine was touching himself before he even realized it, rubbing the loofah on the underside of his cock harder than was necessary in order to get oneself clean. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he dropped the loofah and curled his fingers around his cock instead. Everything was slippery from shower gel, his hand moving effortlessly as he stepped from beneath the spray to lean against the cool tile wall.
The shock of the cold against his back coupled with the humid air and the swirling heat emitting from the movement of his hand on his cock was perfect. Everything was present and contrasting and it felt like every single nerve ending in his body was alight with need
. Blaine closed his eyes with a grunt as he thumbed over the head of his cock.
His hand felt great. They were old friends, after all, and had spent many years together under the covers and in this very shower. But Blaine was ready to move on to something new. He didn’t want to know each movement before it happened. Every twist, every change in speed, he knew everything
. He wanted a partner who would do things to surprise him.
As the haze of lust settled over him, his thoughts roamed free, searching for that one perfect mental image that would bring him to the edge. It was almost always different, but usually involved a guy sucking Blaine’s cock to the back of his throat and swallowing until Blaine came with a cry he tried his hardest to suppress but usually couldn’t.
When Blaine’s imagination took hold, when his fist became a mouth and the few lingering remains of shower gel became the slick slide of spit against his cock, Blaine moaned and started thrusting lightly into his hand. His free hand drug across his stomach, up his chest to thumb over a nipple and rake fingernails through the sprinkling of dark hair on his chest. It felt so good, but not good enough. His imagination was good, but it wasn’t real.
“Come for me,” a voice rasped, rough and wrecked from Blaine’s cock in his throat. It was a voice Blaine knew well, the voice he heard more than any other aside from his own, but he’d never heard it like this before. And god, it was sexy.
Those full lips stretched around Blaine’s cock. Those surreally colored eyes looking up into his. The sounds
he would make.
Blaine’s hips were thrusting without any real thought as to what they were doing, his hand moving lightning fast, just wanting release
because well, in the fantasy that was what had just been requested of him. The familiar rush of heat and pleasure and pressure was on him in a second, his balls tightening and his toes digging into the tile as he made one final upward stroke.
Blaine came with a long moan, everything disappearing except the shockwaves of pleasure and the feeling of falling. When his ass collided hard with the tile, it shocked him out of his reverie. So that was why he’d felt like he was falling—he had
He’d just come so hard he fell.
While fantasizing about Kurt giving him head.
Blaine moaned lightly, from pain this time instead of pleasure, and shifted into a more comfortable position on the floor. Streaks of white on the glass across from him drew in his attention.
“Jesus…” Blaine muttered, leaning over to swipe the rather ridiculous amount of come off of the glass partition. Thoughts started screaming for attention in Blaine’s brain, but he squelched them and staggered from the shower. His legs were wobbly and his brain was fuzzy from the orgasm and the intensity of the thoughts spiraling in his head.
Dripping water the entire way, Blaine made his way back into his bedroom, ignoring the freezing air surrounding his wet skin. The answer he needed to give Kurt was clear and he needed to send it now.
Blaine grabbed his phone off the nightstand and fired off a quick text to Kurt. All it said was two little words. I’m in.Chapter Two